We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
