You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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