it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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