can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
