She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
