We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
