just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
