I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
