The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
