The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
