is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
