Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
