I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
