hotel room ftw
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
