sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
