I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
