Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
