i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
