I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize