mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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