don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
