you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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