Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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