Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
