she was so not down for the gang bang
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
