you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
