singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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