now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
