There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Found the puke drawer
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
