As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize