The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
