don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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