Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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