Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
