Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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