Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
