Where is the hickey?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
