i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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