and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
