he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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