At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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