I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Panties = found
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
