Soap is not a condiment
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
