He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
