So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
