just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize