I hate your face
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
