I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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