strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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