just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
