At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize