bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
