No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
