I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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