and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
