Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
