Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
