In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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